dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
