Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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