the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
