It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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