Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
