Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
i think i just lost a toe
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
