A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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