that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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