U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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