i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
