dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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