I smell stomach acid.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So vagazzling was a success
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
