It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
