I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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