do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
tell me about the fingering
Randomize