He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
