How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
