Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i will never coherently bang her
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
