He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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