i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
