I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
