Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
