ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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