i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
