Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
