Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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