i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
