Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize
