the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
