i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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