You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
