We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
