Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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