i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
