Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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