I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
