ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
