we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
