I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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