how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
