And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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