well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
no. you can't hotbox the world.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I believe in your delicious
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
