I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We left an ass print on the piano.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
