Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
