i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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