in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
