I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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