So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Vodka?
Forever.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
