Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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