we have pet lesbian snakes
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We got so high we made milksteak
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
