She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
They are going to name an STD after you.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
