Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
