ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
