just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
