I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
