Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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