They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
