we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
