a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
