She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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