Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize