You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
this just has baby written all over it
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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