i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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